I arrived upon this unexplored island, and already my servants have failed me. They neglected to inform me of the frigid climate. No matter, the charred ashes of my enemies shall keep me warm. I met with the mayor and a few other random armed citizens (what can go wrong?) about trouble the town has had with gnolls. We are to find them to the west, kill what we can and report of groups that are too large. I left my servants in town where it's safe, and took my godsforsaken donkey, Arrow Bait, along with me to take my burden.
We met a merchant just west of town who was selling mind-altering elixirs. When your mind is as keen as mine, such crutches are of no temptation. Using my vast expertise of logic, I negotiated a better price on a healing potion, exhausting the rest of my gold for the betterment of the party.
Further west, we came across gnolls burning large pillars that we later learned were used for healing. Fortunately, the armed citizens were capable of sneaking up for an ambush. We quickly dispatched them as I incinerated two of them. The group trailed the escaped gnoll as I labored in getting my insubordinate Arrow Bait to follow. The treasonous beast refused, but I generously allowed him to continue his lowly existence despite the disobedience. Despite my command of fire, I was unable to quench the arcane flames engulfing the pillars.
Continuing further west, we spotted a gnoll encampment harboring over a dozen of the mongrels. I was formulating diversions to allow us to pick off a few at a time, but I was unsure of the armed citizens' meat-shielding capabilities, so I agreed to report the discovery back to town.
We camped by the still-burning pillars for warmth. In the night, I spotted a large vulture swooping in on one of the citizens and warned the group promptly. As it neared, I unleashed a sheet of hellfire upon it, graciously offering the killing blow to the others. We had large fires and a large bird- putting two and two together, I decided to cook it. I've seen my servants cook, so how difficult could it be? Upon eviscerating the flaming fowl, I discovered sending stones that survived its stomach. Given that I was the only one who had servants in town to receive messages sent through the stones, the armed citizens saw reason and allowed me to keep the prize.
We returned to town and reported the destruction of the healing pillars, and the plans of the gnoll warband to invade the town. The random armed citizens performed their meat-shielding duties very well, as I incurred no injuries at all. It is superbly satisfying when the help actually perform beyond expectations.